All she wants for Christmas

She lotht her tooth in her thandwicth yethderday. Eating bagelth ith hard now.

It's the place to be

(overheard at the downtown Greek festival last Saturday):

I don't like Greek festivals. I don't want to go.

You ordered them each a whole gyro?! They'll never be able to eat all that!

I don't like gyros. I want a hot dog.

Wow, I was wrong. They can eat a whole gyro. I was hoping for leftovers.


I had super fun! When can we go again?

That's a shame

On Saturday we went to the school's Fun Fest, their yearly fundraiser for the junior and senior classes. Batman was scheduled for a turn in the dunking booth, and the girls and I along with their friend NeighborGirl visited as many booths as we could, smashing pumpkins and fishing for candy and taking a run through the maze. Batman not only got dunked but also "pied," which means "covered with shaving cream."

The girls all spent a lot of time (and tickets) at one booth in particular, trying to win a goldfish. They were all eventually successful, and after dropping NeighborGirl off at her house we went home and put both fish into a nice big vase. We then went out to dinner, and then on to Target where we bought goldfish food (among many other things--it was Target, after all).

Sadly, the little fishies didn't live long enough to be fed. When we returned, they were belly-up in the vase, staring blankly with their cold, dead eyes. We ceremoniously took them into the bathroom and sent them on their journey into the afterlife. RIP, George and Tiny Tim.

This is more fun than homework

My friend Karla tagged me for this meme--take the 6th picture from the 6th file in your My Pictures folder and post it. So here it is, taken almost exactly two years ago: Number One hula hooping it up in the driveway.

She's outgrown those pants and shoes, the sleeves on her sweater are allllmost too short, and the hat got lost last summer; we've replaced all the landscaping in this picture (mostly because the neighbor's cat killed it all) (he has since disappeared) (although not by my hand) (but I did think about it).

Happy Tuesday, and may your hips never lie.

Special birthday

My baby is seven years old now. We still treat her like a baby (and she still acts like one sometimes), and I can hardly believe she's so grown up. Her birthday was last Wednesday, and as an added bonus that marked the third anniversary of our move to Houston. It doesn't seem like it's been that long, but time flies when you're falling over with fatigue.

(How telling is it that the only page I tore out of Lucky this month was not an outfit I had to have, or a picture of the latest shoe trend, but an article called "New Secrets to Disguising Exhaustion." I can't decide which I want more for Christmas: Guitar Hero, or an $80 Laura Mercier eye serum.) (The Botox will have to wait until my spring bonus check.)

ANYhoo, here are pictures of the happy birthday girl. This was taken at school, clutching her birthday breakfast:

Here she is on her birthday call from Pop and Baba:

After opening her gift from Pop and Baba, I'm not sure which of them was more excited about the Easy Bake Oven:
And here she is at her party on Saturday, blowing out the candles on her musical note cake:

This was after we took her and three of her friends to see High School Musical 3, and obviously after the gift-opening--see the tissue explosion in the background?! She had a very happy birthday, and I hope this year goes by slowly for us all--I want to savor seven as long as I can.

It means whatever the heck you want it to mean

Scene: the backseat of my car

Number One (singing): "Konnichiha, konnichiha, konnichiha, konnichiha! Konnichiha, konnichiha, konnichiha, konnichiha! Mommy, what does konnichiha mean?"

Special: "It means shut your pie hole."

This just in

According to one of Batman's ninth grade students, "God has been around for, like, ever."

Zen and the art of Ford Focus maintenance

Here's a little-known fact about me: I like to fix things. Toilets, pipes, tree removal, whatever: I hate paying other people to do things I think I'm perfectly capable of doing. Now, I may NOT be capable of doing them, but I at least want to try.

My left tail light went out the other day. No biggie; I can change a light bulb. Unfortunately, the part that the light bulb plugged into had melted out of shape, and the nice man at the auto parts store had to break it to remove it. Long story short, I had to strip the existing wires and crimp in a replacement piece.

So this is what I did after work today (note the liberal use of electrical tape):

Ta da! It works!

I want to send a big shout-out to Pop, because if it weren't for him I'd be much less likely to know my way around those needle-nosed pliers. Also, madd propz to Ken at O'Reilly Auto Parts for selling me the $3 part instead of trying to convince me I needed a new $150 tail light. Thanks for not patronizing the little lady. And last but not least, thanks to my husband Batman for coming outside and congratulating me on my successful repair, even if he did refuse to join my in my Victory Dance of Awesomeness in the driveway.

But he did compliment my Spaghetti of Awesomeness later, so it's all good.

How conveeeeenient

So there was this tree in our backyard that was getting too big for the yard, and we'd decided to have it removed in the spring.

Thanks, Ike!

One of our neighbors brought over his chain saw and chopped it up into pieces, and now it looks like this:

There's a matching pile on the other side of the driveway. It took nearly 4 hours to get it all hauled from back yard to curb and rake up the rest of the debris, but our backyard looks great now!

We still have no power, but our water heater is gas so we have plenty of hot water. I cannot tell you what a difference that makes--after Hurricane Charley, the combination of no electricity, hot weather and cold showers made us very cranky. Now its almost like a vacation! I'm a little tired of peanut butter--I think it's coming out of my pores--but I'm at work today and the deli downstairs is open for lunch, so hopefully a nice turkey sandwich will make it all better.

Batman and the girls are out of school at least until Thursday. They called me a little while ago from Starbucks, where they were enjoying hot chocolate and the nice weather. Leave it to Batman to find an open Starbucks in our hurricane-ravaged town!

Face Time!

I didn't have enough to do, so I joined Facebook. Will you be my friend? If you do, you can get fascinating updates into what I'm doing at any given time, like this:

Lar is: pretending that Hurricane Ike does not exist.

Lar is: going to get extra water and batteries anyway.

Lar is: about to watch Project Runway.

Lar is: going to fold laundry while I watch it.

Lar is: still pretending there's no hurricane.

Lar is: going to eat the rest of the ice cream (tonight) in case the power goes out (Saturday).

Lar is: getting off work at noon tomorrow and all day Friday, because of this theoretical non-existent hurricane.

Lar is: still pretending.

Lar is: deep in denial.

Playing catch-up

So much has happened in the last two weeks! School started for all of us, Number One had a birthday . . . well, it was just those two things really, but it's been very hectic.

School is going well for the girls. Special has the same teacher as last year (and they adore each other), and Number One has the nicest, kindest teacher ever--I want to pick him up and squeeze him, but he's about a foot taller than me. Both girls enjoy school, although Special is a little bored with first grade. I think she really hoped they'd get into calculus or algebra this year--all this counting business is beneath her.

On her birthday (she's TEN!), Number One took brownies to share with her class, and that weekend GrandBob took us to Logan's ("it's a roadhouse", she said) to celebrate. GrandMom & GrandBob gave her a gift card, and I think it was the most exciting of all her gifts. She kept saying, "I got a debit card!"

I took her shopping yesterday to spend it, and it was so fun to watch her choose what she wanted. When I was ten, my dad described me as being at that age where I'd tear my pantyhose going down the slide at McDonald's, and that's exactly where Number One is. She bought herself a new purse, wallet and shirt at Justice, then got some new toys for her Build-A-Bear collection at the mall, and was equally excited about all of it. She's so precious, and I can't believe she's TEN.

Last Saturday we had a party for her at Laser Quest, and I think I might have had more fun than anyone. It had been far too long since I'd played laser tag! We invited our next door neighbor, a little girl from church, and two of Number One's friends from school, and it was one of our best parties ever. I think I want to have MY birthday at Laser Quest next year!

Number One had requested a Camp Rock cake, and it turned out . . . not bad. The lake was a little runny, and I should have done the "Camp Rock" sign in white gel icing instead of red, but the girls thought it was great so that's all that mattered. I thought later I should have built a little cabin out of pretzel sticks and put it in the far corner, but at least it won't end up on Cake Wrecks.

Today is Labor Day, and so I'm laboring--trying to get to all those things I've not had time to do lately, like filing and bill-paying and cleaning the kitchen and laundry. I'm not sure how this can be considered a day off, but at least I didn't have to drive to the office!

What's the deal with fart jokes?

Special came up with a new joke yesterday:

Q. Why did the elephant run away from the rabbit?
A. Because the rabbit farted!

That was the funniest thing I've heard all week.

These pinenuts are making me thirsty

Yesterday Batman and I celebrated 17 years of marital bliss. And the fact that he didn't die the night before.

We had planned to go out to dinner Saturday night at this restaurant, then go out for dessert here. When we arrived at the restaurant, we told the waiter that Batman is "deathly allergic to pinenuts," and asked him to make sure our food didn't contain them. He forgot. Long story short, Batman ended up in the emergency room, the waiter lost his job, and the manager has to foot the hospital bill.

It's rare in life that we get a do-over, but Sunday night we went out for a do-over! We skipped the meal--had our traditional Sunday-night family pizza night instead--but after dinner we dropped the kids off at GrandMom & GrandBob's and headed for Chocolata. We each ordered a crepe; mine had Nutella and strawberries and Batman's had bananas, strawberries and a dessert wine sauce.

Here's what his looked like:
And here's mine:

Happy anniversary, Batman! Let's have a less eventful celebration next time, okay?

In other news, Special lost her first tooth at day camp last week. The days before the loss had been filled with much drama and weeping and moaning over the looseness! And the wiggling! And the sheer awfulness of teeth in general! So we were all greatly relieved when she pulled the thing out.

And speaking of toothlessness, I have to show this picture of Batman and I at a redneck-themed birthday party last weekend:

I found that top at Wal-Mart--it says "True Love" and has a heart with a knife through it. I thought it was the perfect redneck top, and I'm not sure what it says about me that I plan on wearing it again with a denim jacket. I will not, however, layer it over a red bra like I did here, nor pair it with a denim mini-skirt and 4" heels. In true redneck fashion, Batman left the tags on his Miller High Life hat and returned it to the store the next day. We had lots of fun at the party, and I even got Batman to dance a little. Very little. (rim shot)

I think we've had all the excitement we need for a while now. Here's hoping that my next post will be about how boring life is!

A rare serious moment

I haven't posted an update on Number One's tummy troubles in a while, and thought I would let everyone know how she's doing. She had been symptom-free for several months, and then in June she suddenly started having problems again. Last month they put her on a steroid, and yesterday they added a second steroid. She sees her doctor in two weeks, and hopefully by then she'll be all cleared up, but I've been hoping that for weeks now.

Please pray that we can find ALL her trigger foods. We know that dairy hurts her, and we avoid things like broccoli and cabbage and nuts, but obviously something started this in June and we just don't know what. And please pray that we can get her off the steroid soon--we just don't want her to get all puffed up like she did last summer, and long-term steroid use isn't good for anyone.

I started thinking yesterday, spurred by a post on another blog, about how it's easy to get angry with God when your child or another loved one is suffering. But God didn't do this to Number One; it's just part of life, and bad things happen in life to EVERYONE. It would be so easy to say, well, God isn't answering our prayers to heal her, He must not care. But that would be ignoring how He has given me a job with fantastic health insurance--something we didn't have until very recently. He has also provided the money to pay for her care beyond what the insurance covers. He has provided a school for Number One where they care about her, where the teachers and students look out for her. We live in a place with one of the best pediatric GI specialists in the country, and he knows Number One by name and responds to each and every one of my phone calls. We are blessed, is what I'm saying, even in this.

Shortly after Batman and I lost our jobs in Florida, I read a quote by Dana Reeve, wife of Christopher Reeve, who at that time had just been diagnosed with lung cancer. She said (and I've lost the quote, so I'm paraphrasing): "You can't stop bad things from happening. But what matters in life is how you respond to those things." I found that immensely encouraging; that is how Batman and I tried to live after being so shattered by our own situation, and that is how we try to live now. We want people to see how we respond to our circumstances--good and bad--and be encouraged. We're not perfect, and we never will be, but God's grace will fill in all our gaps, and hopefully others will see Him reflected, however imperfectly, in us.

And now we return to our regularly scheduled programming: Anyone watch Project Runway last night? Did you hate the winning dress as much as I did?

Hello, and welcome to Moviefone

Batman and I have been watching a lot of movies lately, both at the theater and through Netflix. Just in the last month we've seen:

Juno (quirky, we both liked it)
27 Dresses (a good rental)
August Rush (I liked the last five minutes)
Batman Begins (AWESOME.)
The Dark Knight (I LOVED it, Batman ironically enough was unimpressed)
The Holiday (a "romantic" "comedy;" I hated it, Batman loved it, and I'm not sure what that says about us as a couple)

But the best of them all was the one we watched last night, called "Lars and the Real Girl." It's about a lonely man who buys a (*ahem*) "love doll" over the internet, just for companionship. He treats her like a real girl, and the whole town does the same. It was such a sweet, touching, funny movie, and quite clean despite its PG-13 rating. I highly recommend it; Batman and I both loved it.

The next thing on our Netflix queue is a DVD of episodes of "The Muppet Show," which I think the girls will love. Batman is excited to see the new X Files movie, and so on our anniversary next weekend we'll go for a nice dinner, and then on to a theater so he can see Mulder and Scully and I can watch "The Dark Knight" again. Compromise: the foundation of a healthy relationship!

Spring, Baseball, Football, and Winter

This July 4th weekend was kid-filled, with cousins popping up all over the place. The 2 Busy B's came in from Austin on Friday and got to spend a little time with Special and Number One.

On Saturday, Batman and I drove the girls up to Texarkana where Pop and Baba met us to take them on to Tennessee for the week. They had the Arkansas cousins with them, and the kids were so anxious to get going they quickly abandoned the playground where we met, hopped in the van and put on their seatbeats!

I think Pop and Baba are going to have their hands full.

Sunday brought more time with Big B and little b; we went to lunch together and then I got to babysit while their dad and Batman played Ultimate Frisbee. Big B gave me a golf lesson (his advice: "Hit it hard!"). Here he is showing me how to putt into the "hole" we fashioned:

Then we set up blocks and knocked them down again:

And Big B was delighted to sit on Uncle Batman's motorcycle:

The rest of this weekend's photos (including some lovely portraits of the cat) are here.

B and I had a great conversation at lunch. After we ordered, we were discussing what vegetables he liked (that list was very small). I told him that I make spinach cakes that the girls really like, and he said, "My mommy makes brown cake." I do love those spinach cakes, but I think I'd like the brown cake more, too.

Later I asked him (referring to the sporting events on the restaurant's TV screens) if he liked tennis or baseball better. He answered, "I like all the seasons." I suspect the boy might have watched ESPN a time or two with his dad, what do you think?

I so enjoyed seeing all my nephews and my niece; they're such sweet little ones and I wish I could hug on them more often, but then it probably wouldn't be as special.

Speaking of Special, I miss her and Number One already. Is it Friday yet?

I'm busy, busy, frightfully busy

Batman and the girls have had quite a busy month enjoying their summer break. So far they've seen a play ("When You Give a Mouse a Cookie"), been swimming, gone to lunch with GrandBob several times, handed out breakfast to day workers waiting for jobs, gone to the Fine Arts museum, visited a vintage car show, rode the elevator to the top of the Chase Tower (the highest skyscraper in the city), played laser tag, came to eat lunch (Bosnian food!) with me, and taken a long (hot) hike. We saw "Kung Fu Panda" as a family on the IMAX screen, and I think Batman has one more surprise planned before he goes back to work next week.

What have I been doing? Working, that's what. The last class I took (which THANKFULLY ended last week) kicked my behind with papers and research and more papers. My job has had me working very long hours and weekends and I'm pooped. I've declared this week to be "no work at home" week, and so far it's been very relaxing. I forgot for a little while what it was like to have free time in the evenings!

Batman and I watched a show on the Food Network yesterday (am too lazy to look up her name, it's the skinny Italian chick with the big head), and saw a recipe that I tried tonight. It was a huge success, and I've been instructed to make it again every night forever. The recipe is here.

And now I must go. After all these weeks of Extreme Busyness, I've got a lot of TV-watching to catch up on!

Like the summer of George, but with fewer broken bones

Well, I didn't win the Wii, so it's back on my Christmas list. Also on my list? iTunes gift cards--I've gotten a bit obsessed with my new Mother's Day iPod. Kim had a cool idea on her blog, asking readers to list the first five songs on their iPods, so now I have a bunch of new songs to try. Too early to be thinking of Christmas lists, you say? Oh ho ho, I say, shop now and relax in December. I myself am 25% done, but will freely admit that Christmas shopping is the ONLY area in my life in which I am ahead.

And why am I so behind? Perhaps it's because I've spent the last two weeks here:

This picture was taken about 6:45 Thursday night while everyone else was getting dinner in the other room (fajitas, in case you're wondering, and they were pretty good). Nine of us worked elbow-to-elbow testing our new software in this little, hot room for two weeks, and even though we stayed until 9:30 last night (ON A FRIDAY) we're still not done. Blergh.

But enough about me! We've had a big week in our house: Special graduated from kindergarten (sniff) and Pop and Baba were here for the big occasion.

What a cutie-patootie!

Batman and the girls are all out of school now, and I think they have big plans for the summer, although the majority of those plans revolve around swimming and riding bikes. That still sounds better than my plan for the summer, which mostly involves developing carpel tunnel syndrome.

But! Today is Saturday! And I don't have to work until after lunch! So we're off to the pool. Happy weekend, everyone!

You gotta want it

Three Kid Circus is running a contest to give away a Wii console and Wii Fit balance board. I REALLY WANT A WII and Batman won't buy me one, so I'm taking up her challenge to write my most embarrassing fitness story.

I've known for years that I needed to get into shape, not so much lose weight as redistribute it, you know? Tone up a bit, be able to walk up more than two flights of stairs without getting winded, go running with Batman without him forcing me to schedule an appointment with a cardiologist afterward. Problem is, I've always HATED exercise. LOATHED it. DREADED it.

In an effort to find a fitness program I'd actually stick with, we have bought a ridiculous number of exercise-at-home gadgets and videos, although not quite as many as this. We've had a treadmill, an exercise bike, weights, Pilates DVDs, Tae Bo videos, a jogging stroller, and jump ropes, and that's just off the top of my head. I'm sure there are a lot more items that ended up in one garage sale or another that I have blocked out of my mind.

Shortly before we left Florida, I started running. Okay, I can't call it running--it was jogging, and not very fast at that. But I did it several times a week, and by the time we bought our house in Texas I was up to three miles, four times a week. Moving messed up my schedule though--I had a longer commute, and was just busier than before--and I fell out of the habit. Until earlier this year, I was barely running once a week.

But recently, I joined a gym. It's right across the street from my office; I go on my lunch hour almost every day, and if I can't go at lunch I go on my way home. There's another one in the same chain near our house, and I go at least once every weekend. Which brings me to the embarrassing part:

I like it.

That's right, after years of whining and procrastinating and complaining, I Like Exercising. I'm enjoying working out. I like the elliptical machine. I like the weight machines. My lovely family gave me an iPod for Mother's Day, and I love listening to it while I sweat for thirty minutes every day. I'm not so wild about the locker room--it always smells vaguely of Nair--but I feel great and strong and fit.

There is one other embarrassing bit. I always see one or more of my coworkers at the gym, usually one of the (male) project managers, and I can tell you there is nothing like having a sweaty, drippy coworker leaning on your machine talking about software requirements while you do leg lifts and hope they can’t see down your shorts . . .

Hoochie Mama

Last night as we watched "American Idol," contestant Syesha took the stage in a low-cut gown that showed off a great deal of her *ahem* assets. Special, who was sitting beside me in the recliner, said, "Mommy! I see something!"

She leaned in and whispered, "BOSOMS!"

While I laughed she heckled the TV: "She's dressed so unappropriate! Put some clothes on, lady!"

Do you think she'll worry about what's "unappropriate" to wear when she's 16? Yeah--I doubt it, too.



P.S. Was it just me, or was last night the most boring "American Idol" ever? The song choices were awful, David A. bores me to tears, Jason has just quit trying, and I just can't stand Syesha's dull impersonations of divas. Bleh.

P.P.S. I've signed up to do Book Binge in May but so far all I've read is the new issue of Lucky magazine. Does that count?

It looks tasty

Special says it "tastes like yak." I think it's delicious, even though to me it looks like boiled ground beef. Batman thinks it's wonderful, even though he says it looks like fake vomit. What is it?

Homemade tapioca pudding with chocolate chips melted in, or as it's now called in our house, "yak pudding."

We also have two solariums

After living in our house for a year and a half, we thought it was high time we put some furniture into the living room. After a lot of shopping and not finding what we liked, we decided to turn it into a music room--a place where Number One can practice her violin and where all of us can practice the piano. Much thanks to Target and Craigslist, the proud sponsors of this room.

Here's a shot of the room in use (she really is practicing, not just posing):















We also bought a new (to us) entertainment center, since ours was a good ten or twelve years old and quite wobbly. It holds all our stuff and then some:















It's two pieces; the shelf portion sits on top of the base, and it's the single heaviest thing I've ever helped lift. Batman and I gave the girls an impromptu physics lesson when we levered the shelves up using the big ottoman, and I bit my tongue to avoid giving them a vocabulary lesson as well!

The only thing I'm sad about is that we no longer need any furniture--we're officially fully furnished. So, if you need to go furniture shopping, invite me along and I'll live vicariously through you . . .

SEVEN!!!!

My sis-in-law Kim tagged me for this meme: 7 random things about myself. Here goes:

1. I am a huge Seinfeld fan. I know—you’re shocked.

2. I hate washing dishes by hand, and would rather load and unload the dishwasher twice in one day if it means I don’t have to hand-wash a single dish. Yes, I know that takes more time. I don’t care.

3. I recently started going to the gym on my lunch hour, and I always use the same elliptical machine so I can watch “Ellen” while I work out.

4. I love making to-do lists, and will write things down that I’ve already done just so I can cross them off. I also make grocery lists, Target lists, lists of things to pack on vacation, and when we lived in Florida I kept a list of things to take to the pool and the beach so I wouldn’t forget anything important, like towels.

5. I currently own 36 pairs of shoes. Still, I could really use a pair of black sandals. And a pair of brown sandals. Maybe some red flats.

6. The girls get impatient with me when I want to look at shoes.

7. I am thoroughly addicted to Special K "chocolatey drizzle" breakfast bars in . I eat at least two per day and would eat more, but that would just mean more time on the elliptical and “Ellen” only lasts an hour.

That was fun! Okay, I tag Karla, Daddy, Greg, DL and Erin. Go! And check back with me this weekend--we finally put real furniture in our living room and I have pictures.

For my Schmoopie

I'm not the most demonstrative person when it comes to Public Displays of Affection, but after reading this list I can't help declaring my love for Batman in what is possibly the most romantic line ever:

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

And that's the truth.
Love,
me

(Close runner-up for most romantic line: "You wore me down.")

Serious Stuff

One of the bloggers I sometimes read is requesting prayers for her friends--Brian, Katie, and their little girl Emily. Emily, who is only sixteen months old, has just been diagnosed with a very aggressive, very rare tumor.

The blog is here, with updates here and there. Go read about Emily, and pray for her and for her family. They must be so frightened, but they believe in the power of prayer. Go pray that God will heal little Emily, and that He will use the internet's silly, silly blogs to show the world His might and goodness.

I'm pretty sure we saw the Smog Strangler

So we just got back from HOLLYWOOOOD! Sorry, can't say that without channeling Randy Jackson (yo, dawg). We had a great trip to California--the scenery was amazing, Batman finished his marathon on Catalina Island, Joshua Tree was even better than I'd expected, and Los Angeles was prettier than I remembered. We had a great time visiting with Pop and Baba, and we saw not one but TWO Penguin stores--almost a spiritual place for Batman, and the manager thought it was adorable that both girls were wearing their Penguin shirts. Batman and I went to see "Wicked," which I highly recommend--it was fantastic--and the girls' favorite part of the trip was playing video games at the mini golf place in Anaheim.

And now, I have pictures! None of them are of movie stars, but they do include some of my very favorite people.

Sadly, none of us were discovered while in La-La Land, so now we're back to the daily grind. But we're glad to be back. There's no place like home, you know.

(Seriously, you have to go see "Wicked" when it comes to town. It was fabulous!)

Special: she's a little paranormal

On Monday, Special stayed with Grandmom for the day, as she was too sick to go to school. Last night at dinner, she told us this story:

"I asked Grandmom a bunch of times when GrandBob would be home. I said, 'Grandmom, when will GrandBob be back? When will GrandBob be back?' Then one time, I walked in her room, and before I even said anything she said, 'He'll be here in a little while!' How did she know what I was going to say?!"

Either they're psychic friends, or Grandmom has a talent for understanding six-year-olds.

Maybe I should have just rented the movie

My dear friend Karla tagged me for this book meme:

• Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.
• Open the book to page 123.
• Find the 5th sentence.
• Post the next 3 sentences.

So here goes: the book closest at hand is the one I just finished, Atonement by Ian McEwan. The movie came out a couple of weeks ago, and I heard such good things about the book I thought I'd get it from the library. It's . . . not a cheery read, and I hesitate to recommend it since the entire plot revolves around the misunderstandings brought about by the utterance of a really vulgar word, but it was extremely well-written and had the twists and turns that I love in a good story. Here's the selected passage:

"It came down to this: go in now and face her anger and disgust, give an explanation which would not be accepted, and most likely be turned away--unbearable humiliation; or go home now without a word, leaving the impression that the letter was what he intended, be tortured all night and for days to come by brooding, knowing nothing of her reaction--even more unbearable. And spineless. He went over it again and it looked the same."

Feel free to copy this meme for yourself; let me know if you do, because I'm interested to know what you're reading! Maybe your choice is cleaner than mine, but we should just be glad my marketing book was on the other side of the room.

This is just embarrassing

Oh, not embarrassing for me! No, I meant it's embarrassing for the poor souls immortalized here. So sincere in their zeal, so earnest in their poses . . . I hope they at least sold some records.

This group is honest; they're drug addicts, and they're not afraid to admit it. I might have come up with a better name ("The Strung-Out Singers," perhaps). (Or, "The Crack Choir.") But Doris wants you to know SHE isn't a drug addict! No, she just sings with them. She's never touched drugs! Don't lump her in! (How about "Marijuana Madrigals"?)

"Confessions of a Teen-Age Girl," by Evangelist Jay Snell. Do I really need to add to this?

WHY ARE THERE FOUR OF THEM? This one really bothers me. PLEASE EXPLAIN.

Aaaaaand, I've found my new exercise routine. Who WOULDN'T want to aerobicize to the melodic sounds of the Mighty Clouds of Joy?

**I found these gems at http://purgatorio1.com/. Enjoy.

Does this mean I have to buy an SUV?

As I hauled soccer balls and uniforms to my car after Special's first soccer team meeting (Coach Batman couldn't make it), Number One asked, "Does this mean you're a soccer mom?"

Guess so. Does that mean I have to wear high-waisted jeans and drive a Suburban?

Number One deemed herself "Soccer Sister," and made sure she brought extra water for her little sis. She also brought along her soccer-playing Groovy Girl doll for good luck.

Special had her first game Saturday, and we think they won--hard to know when we don't keep score--but Special scored two goals! Pretty good for a kid who'd never played before. Most of Batman's coaching involved yelling things like, "Kick it toward the goal, not toward your parents!" and "Go the other way! The other way!" One little boy is already well-versed in the professional soccer tradition of crying over minor injuries, and another little fellow on the other team tried to start a fight, but other than that it was a great game.

I'm saving this photo for NBC to use during the Summer Olympics of 2022.

She probably thinks this blog is about her

Driving home tonight, Special was telling me why she didn't want to be in next week's PE show. They've worked out little routines for all the grades, and apparently her team is not up to par. She said, "Jason* is too talkie-ish. Allison can't do anything and she's SO SLOW. Chris is mean, and Emma does whatever he says. And me? PERFECT."

She did not appreciate my hoots of laughter.

*Names changed to protect the slow, mean and talkie-ish.

We have a deal: Arby's no more than once a month

I have to say, I'm pretty impressed with myself today. I'm usually good about getting things organized for the week by Sunday night--I plan out all my clothes for the week, make sure laundry's done, and bag up snacks and cookies for lunches--because it makes the mornings go much smoother. But today I took it a step further and actually COOKED for the week! Well, maybe not full meals--I'm not a psycho--but I browned two pounds of ground beef, cooked and shredded a chicken, and made hamburger patties and meatballs, then stuck it all in the freezer. I've got a roast for tomorrow (planning leftovers for Monday) and went so far as to chop the carrots to put in the crockpot with the roast!

I enjoy cooking, but when I come home from work the last thing I want is to start a meal from scratch; it just feels completely overwhelming. We've been eating out more and more, and this past week was the worst. This may be the first and last time I ever do this cooking-ahead thing, but I'm hoping it helps during the week.

Unless, of course, I forget to set anything out to thaw. Then one of us will be making that 6:30 run to Chick-Fil-A once again . . .

Office Space

We moved to our new offices today, and I feel like Kramer in that Seinfeld episode where he has a girlfriend downtown and calls it a long-distance relationship. "It's a whole different world downtown-- different Gap, different Tower Records." My stuff is the same, but my furniture and surroundings are completely different. And there aren't any plates in the kitchen! How are we supposed to eat without plates? You know, we're living in a society! We're supposed to act in a civilized way.

My commute wasn't as bad as I expected--exactly one hour from home to work and I took the girls to school on the way. Of course, we left the house at 6:38 am, which is quite the ungodly hour and confusing for Special, who wanted to know why it was still dark out. We may sleep an extra five or ten minutes tomorrow.

In other news, I had a lovely birthday even though it was marked by washing everything we own. I think I did nine loads of laundry yesterday. Batman was afraid the washer was going to break down if I did one more load, but I think it would be more likely that *I* would break down. Lucky for me I have two excellent laundry-folders in the house. Batman is not one of them; he cleans toilets but doesn't fold clothes, and I don't particularly want to trade.

My excellent in-laws took us out to dinner Saturday night at McCormick and Schmick's, a nice seafood/steak restaurant in the Galleria area. One of my co-workers is married to the executive chef there, and he treated us very well--our menus even said "Happy Birthday" on them! The food was excellent; the girls scarfed down the fried calimari even after we told them what it was. Our entrees were delicious, but there was a schmear of pesto on my plate, which unfortunately we didn't realize until *after* Batman had an allergic reaction--those pine nuts get him every time. It was mild, though, and by the time we got home he was able to eat his apple pie.

Thanks to everyone for the cards and emails and good wishes--I *did* have a good birthday, and this year is shaping up well so far. I made myself a chocolate cake yesterday, and the neighbors brought over a lemon pie, and I got two new pairs of shoes and the Seinfeld season 9 DVDs; you can't ask for much more than that when you turn 37.

And then I died. The End.

Guess what the school sent home for my birthday?

**weep**