So there's this new guy at work. I'm not sure of his actual title; he's not in my department but I've had to work with him over the last two days in relation to our new software implementation. He reminds me a great deal of Edgar, a co-worker I once had. Edgar made me want to staple his head to his desk. New Guy should possibly keep an eye out for my Swingline.
Yesterday I was assigned to help New Guy and his counterpart, New Gal, in reconciling some reports in the new software. We'd been talking about their use of the software all morning. Near the end of our meeting, I was listing the types of reports they'd need to run out of the new software and New Guy asked, "So do we need to install New Software on our computer, then?"
Me: (*blink, blink*) "Yes, that would be helpful!"
Later that afternoon, New Guy asked someone else what they meant by saying, "It is what it is." I had a flashback to the Clinton years and said that depended on what his definition of "is" is.
Today I provided New Guy and New Gal with detailed instructions on how to run the reports. The first part of the instructions was to run a list of all open projects and note the project numbers, as that information would be needed for the reports.
New Gal had no trouble.
New Guy emailed me (and this is a direct quote): "Ugh. These directions are confusing. What did you mean by 'make a note?' I tried [long and complicated process of copying and pasting screen shots] but it didn't work."
Me: (*blink blink*, share email with co-worker, wipe away tears of laughter) "I meant literally make a note. You'll need that information later."
But here's the best part: for two days, I've been calling him Bob. I knew his first initial was B, and his name in the email contact list is shown as Robert.
He goes by Bill.
But I think I'll just call him New Edgar.